There is an old saying in American sports “Tying is like kissing your sister… No one really wins.”  I had no idea the Galaxy had so many sisters. This weekend was a perfect example of that.

We had it!  I mean I really thought this was the one.  We had saved ourselves, like Cher in Clueless. We were able to convince ourselves, despite the fact the Revs wanted to watch Spartacus, that this was the one we were waiting for… and then we found out the Rev’s were gay.  And it broke my heart.  Why did you have to be gay Revs?

With a 2-1 lead against the best team in the league, all we had to do was hold off the weariest legs in MLS.  10 games and 2 months win-less seemed to be in our rear view mirror.  Then, like death and taxes, the Galaxy let us down.  Yet I am able to find a small piece of solace, because in order to be let down I realize I must have been able to believe in the team.  That alone is a statement that Bruce Arena may be making a difference.  Because for the first time in a long time I started to believe in this team.

Now it’s time to play a game that we as Galaxy fans have become good at, The Blame Game.  I believe that I have established a fairly good record of not calling out players in my articles here at ASR (Not including LMNF*).  Yet the time has come to attach the Scarlett Letter upon one of our players.

That player is Steve Cronin.  You sir denied us three points Saturday.  This is a man’s league and Taylor Twellman understands that ethos.  Hey Steve, see that box 18 yards out lined in white chalk?  That is your temple.  You cannot allow some dude in a jersey sized for a 12 year old and the head the size of a Jack-O-Lantern to enter your fortress of solitude and desecrate it.  A player 5 inches your lesser and with worse starting position cannot be allowed to win that ball.  And like all players who do not go into tackles strong, you have injured yourself.  Please allow your broken finger to serve as a reminder that you must punish all sinners who would attempt to soil the sanctity of your soccer synagogue.  Yes… I love alliteration.

Let Us Pray:

“Dear Lord, please allow us your most hated sons, the fans of the LA Galaxy, to find the strength to believe.  And guide our team through the potholes of this terribly managed international calendar.  Please grant Don Garber the wisdom to see that no league that wants the world’s respect can be taken seriously as long as we play games on international fixture dates.  Please Lord, keep Cobi’s dreads supple and well conditioned. And lastly All Mighty, please upgrade LMNF’s* level of grace to at least that of one of those three legged dogs I see on the streets.  In your name we pray…”

One-Liners:

-In other “Football” fantasy news I’m trying to trade Braylon Edwards and Matt Forte for Thomas Jones and Brandon Marshall.  Think the guy will accept it?

-First person to comment below on what movie is being quoted in my title this week, wins…   my repect.  (Yes I know the quote is not exact.)

-Josh Wicks has a chance to become our soccer savior.  I truly he hopes he comes in cocky and tries to make the #1 goal keeper spot his own.

-Saturday night I was wishing Matt Reis was still a Galaxy player.  Then I watched him Tuesday night.

-How does Landon’s first goal Saturday night not end up even in contention for Goal of the Week.  That is criminal.  That was as clinical of an off-foot finish as you will see against a keeper that was being touted as an MVP candidate by the commentators.

-Luis Bueno has a wonderful article this week on the above mentioned MLS conflicts with the FIFA calendar.

My “Homer” Line-Up:

Pick 11 names out of a hat, you will probably beat me.

* Alan Gordon will now always be refered to as LMNF “Look Ma’ No Feet!”

Have you ever had that one song come on the radio?  You know the one.  The one where from the very first note you are instantly transported back to a better time and place?  It happened to me today.  Rage Against the Machine’s “Bomb Track”.  My answer to Jack Black’s question in High Fidelity “All-time cut 1 side 1 songs”.  Anytime I hear it I’m rolling deep through my high school parking lot in my 1976 Ford “Pinto-Stang”.  This moment of nostalgia got me thinking “What kit were my Galaxy wearing the last time I was actually proud of my team?” The one jersey that makes me beam with pride when I see it has to be the 2002 version.  Yes it is horribly Teal and probably even with Beckham’s name on it, it wouldn’t be popular, but it was our first.  And everyone remembers their first.  Like the Pinto-Stang was my first car, the ‘02 jersey was our first Championship.  So it will always be special, for better or for worse.

I mentioned last week that I’m convinced that for better or worse no else in the Galaxy locker room would bleed for this team like Pete Vagenas.  I still believe that, and perhaps now I understand why.  He is the only person on the team that wore that jersey.  He’s our last link to a better time.  Back when we pimp-strolled up and down the streets of the other MLS teams like we were Flyguy.  This team needs to get its swagger back.  We need a throw back night.  Make this team wear that ‘02 jersey for a night.  Rock it with enough confidence that you can say to the other team, “Yeah you just got owned by a team wearing Teal”.  Give us fans a night where we can escape.  Because, perhaps, even we need a reminder these days of what the Galaxy is all about.

Speaking of 2002, the man who helped make it all happen is out the door, Carlos Ruiz.  I felt bad for Ruiz for about 48 hours.  Until I saw him play against the US.  Then it clicked…  God I hate this guy.  TFC is welcome to him.

This week the Galaxy travel to New England to face one of the most potent teams in the league, and coincidently the team the Galaxy beat in 2002 for their first MLS Championship.  With their full compliment of players, a week of training together and their coaches vision clearly laid out before them this team is out of excuses.  Yes, they are being expected to step up against some of the stiffest competition in the league.  But you know what?  If it’s too much for you, too bad.  You play for the Galaxy.  So go put on some teal and get your pimp stroll on!

One-Liners:

-The Inland Empire represents again as Carlos Bocanegra, Landon Donovan and Maurice Edu all feature in the United States World Cup Qualifier.

-Note to self: Remember to take Berbatov off my ASR Fantasy Team before he kills me.  Seemed good on Aug 5th…

-Paging Mr. Dominguez… Mr. Eduardo Dominguez please pick up the defensive courtesy phone…

-Props to the Riot Squad for their chants of “Turn it off!” As music blared down onto the field last week from the observation deck where Malcolm Jamal Warner and Sabrina The Teenage Witch were drinking Grey Goose.  I think the event was called “I peaked in the 90’s” or something.  Actually it was a very nice charitable function called “How Suite It Is”, but the music was still uncalled for.

My Homer Line-Up:

Cronin

Franklin - Roberts - Vanney - Jazic

Klein - Beckham - Vagenas - Lewis

Donovan - Buddle

Now I know how Augustus Gloop felt. That wicked Willy Wonka putting so many tempting treats all around him and expecting him to be able to focus. I mean can you really fault the kid? There was a Chocolate River for god’s sake! Like Augustus, I don’t know where to start, there is just too much to choose from this week.

I know, let’s start with the Classico. I, like the Galaxy supporters groups, was banished to the upper deck for the game. Thankfully it put me farther from that terrible excuse for a pitch the teams played on Thursday night. I know Chivas is probably more at home playing on a dirt lot, but it was an ugly view from up high. The only good thing about my location on the north side’s 18 yard line was that I had a perfect view of the linesman’s terribly missed offside call on Chivas’ second goal. I watched the TV replay and they never gave a good camera angle. Let me tell you how bad it was. Even Alex Prus thought the player was off. He kept looking to the linesman for the sure flag that was coming. It finally took the linesman motioning to Stott before he blew the whistle to signal the goal. The linesman blew that call plain and simple.

My man Cobi needs to be given a little credit, he inserts Michael Randolph and Alan “Look Ma’, No Feet” Gordon into the game late. They both did him proud by hitting the crossbar and scoring the late equalizer respectively. Part of me is glad, however, that that game will be Cobi’s last as head coach for a bit. Now he can “Stay Gold” like Ponyboy. By the way, how pimp was that suit my man was sporting? Showing chest like he was Hasselhoff!!

So on to the big news this week. The Bruce wants to get a tan. Lured by the smell of In-N-Out burgers and the chance to dabble in scientology with Mr. Cruise, Bruce Arena has flipped coasts to become both the GM and Head Coach of the Galaxy. While it is not what I was hoping for, I get it. He will give an air of stability to the team. He’s a players coach. Maybe not to the extent that Yallop was, but Arena has the ego to go with being in LA. He can take the scrutiny. As long as we don’t see any 4-5-1 formations I’ll be a happy man for a bit. Because with The Bruce comes just enough US Soccer goodwill to appease most fans for a short span of time. We are waiting to see which incarnation of Bruce Arena we will see. Will it be the coach that won 5 NCAA titles, 2 MLS Cups, and had that great WC2002 run? Or will it be ineffective one that we saw in New York last season. One thing I do like? Bringing in Dave Sarachan. I always felt that he was all heart when he was in Chicago and that he got a bit of a bum rap there.

Speaking of the Windy City, they are blowing into town Thursday night here in LA. I can smell the Blanco fans already. However, it remains to be seen if he, along with Donovan, will be able to see quality minutes after both being involved in their country’s World Cup Qualifiers Wednesday. My money is on Donovan playing pretty significant minutes Thursday night. I’m happy to report that I will be back in my normal plastic season ticket bucket seat, complete with cup holder and no little red horns. I just hope Brian McBride will look as ineffective in a red Chicago uniform as he did in a white USA one in the Olympics. Sorry McHead, I love ya, but you’re wearing the wrong colors Thursday.

One-Liners:

-Give a raise to Maurice Edu’s agent for getting the kid to a quality team in Rangers FC

-Fire Michael Bradley’s. If he can’t sell a young kid with 15 league goals in the Eredivisie, than he ain’t worth the Bluetooth in his ear.

-Unlike some, I’m liking the potential Eddie Lewis acquisition. Quality service from the left side and someone to teach Mike Randolph and Ely Allen.

-Is it bad that I like that Jesse Marsch felt pain? Not career ending pain, or deathly pain, just enough to make me twirl my handlebar mustache.

-Loving Julian Valentin’s blog. Especially like how you can feel his hunger to get on the pitch. Give the kid a chance. I think Bruce might be the guy to do it. He is much more familiar with his time with the US Youth Teams than Ruud ever was. He’s gotta be better than Vanney right?

-For all the crap that Pete Vagenas catches about back passing and his hair line, you gotta give it up for the only guy in the locker room that you KNOW would bleed for this team. Let’s hope the kids take notice.

-THIS JUST IN: Bob Bradley enters the Betty Ford Clinic for treatment of his certain crack addiction, evidenced by his not calling Kenny Cooper into camp!

My Homer Line-Up:

Cronin

Klein - Franklin - Dominguez - Jazic

Beckham - Vagenas - Pires - Lewis (if Available)

Buddle - Gordon

SBI is reporting that the LA Galaxy have dealt forward Carlos Ruiz to Toronto FC, the details should be coming to light soon. Toronto FC have had a busy day on the player movement front, releasing midfielder Laurent Robert earlier in the day. Ruiz has had a tough season after sustaining a knee injury early in the season which has seen him earn limited playing time with LA. Toronto FC will get the goal scorer they’ve been looking for the past few months, and LA can now afford to sign Eddie Lewis. What do you think of the move? 

According to SBI, American midfielder Eddie Lewis is set to join the LA Galaxy. The Galaxy have apparently passed on Cory Gibbs and acquired the rights to Eddie Lewis. The 34 year old midfielder left Major League Soccer in 1999, joining Fulham. Lewis had a long career in England, seeing him play for Preston North End, Leeds United and most recently with Derby County. Lewis has earned 80 caps for the United States Men’s National Team to date, and should bring some needed experience and stability to the Galaxy midfield. Eddie will be joining former long-time National Team teammate Cobi Jones, who is currently interim manager following Ruud Gullit’s resignation on Monday. What are your thoughts? 

LA, where you get swept up in the spectacle, then swept out of town. With the departure of both Alexi Lalas and Ruud Gullit, the Galaxy is in a better position than some might think. Loyal ASR readers know that I have been calling for Lalas’ head for some time now. So seeing him pack up his guitar and leaving is a sight for sore eyes. But the resignation of Ruud Gullit leaves me somewhat saddened. I have the feeling that he really could have made a difference here in LA.

But those names are the past. We as Galaxy supporters have the opportunity now to have a fresh start. The team is better than our record reflects and despite our pitfalls we are not even close to being out of the playoff picture. The immediate task of getting this train back on track will fall to Cobi Jones. I, surprisingly, find myself rejecting this notion. Not because I don’t believe in Cobi, or think that the players will not respond to him, but because he is sterling in our eyes.

For all the ups and downs of the club over the last 12 years, Cobi was always Teflon. You only associate him with the good parts, the bad ones just slip right off of him. Now he is being inserted into a very difficult situation where he will have to bear the scrutiny that comes with his new position. The first time I see a “Fire Cobi” sign my heart will sink. I really want to remember him only as a winner. I truly wish him luck and I hope that his players realize what a true gift they are getting in him.

Now assuming Cobi’s “interim” tag is true, we are in need for both a Coach and a GM. Despite Dave Denholm’s claims for the GM position I have a tandem that I believe could be magic in LA. I have two names that, to me, breed such optimism that I dare not speak them.

Peter Wilt and Paul Mariner

The former Chicago GM which I mentioned last week and the long time assistant to Steve Nicol in New England, respectively. Let’s go out and get two guys that are institutions in the league. I don’t want the “Big Foreign Name” or the “Next Guy In Line At AEG.” I want some guys with heart. The kind of guys that when I watch other teams, I am jealous that they have them. These two men can fix this, I truly believe it. Cobi’s time will come, I don’t doubt that, but we need people that can come in today and make a difference. We need people that haven’t been infected by the AEG plague. Please AEG, find the cure to your own disease.

This Weeks Fixture:

Talk about pressure… The Classico is three days away and we are on auto-pilot. Part of me thinks this could be a good thing. Cobi understands this fixture, he has lived it and excelled within it. With Sacha Kljestan in Beijing Chivas is missing an essential piece to their team, one that has killed the Galaxy in its first two meetings. Combine that with Brad Guzan’s departure to Aston Villa and you have a game that the Galaxy could use as a statement game. Come out and show the fans that their team understands its position and will rise up to meet the expectations.

Tabloid Gossip:

Items currently being rumored in Galaxy-Land:

Ruiz trade to TFC- I want it to happen, but it needs to be for a good defensive piece like Maurice Edu. Don’t give me Danny Dichio.

Corey Gibbs Allocation- Fact is, that he is ours if we want him. Can we afford him though? Is he healthy? It is a huge risk taking him on, but the reward may be worth it. I for one would like to go for it. We need to take risks this season if we are going to make the playoffs. Adding a World Cup caliber defender that is not yet over the hill could really help this team. Just please tell him to watch out for slip and trip hazards around the locker room.

My “Homer” Line-Up predictions:

Cronin

Klein - Franklin - Dominguez - Jazic

Beckham - Franchino - Donovan - Randolph

Buddle - Ruiz

According to multiple sources, the LA Galaxy have parted ways with General Manager Alexei Lalas and Ruud Gullit. 45 year old Gullit resigned for “personal reasons” after spending less than one season with the Los Angeles club, assistant coach Cobi Jones will take over as interim manager. The Galaxy have also let General Manager Alexei Lalas go as well. The club cleans house after a poor run of results, seeing them slip from tied for first place to fourth place. Assistant General Manager Tom Payne will take over the business side of the GM position, while Director of Soccer Paul Bravo will handle the soccer related duties. The Galaxy will play arch rivals Chivas USA this Saturday. It will be an interesting next 3 days for Cobi Jones and the Galaxy as they try to stay in the playoff race.  Your Thoughts?

In what is sure to be a developing story, Galaxy fans across the globe have been done wrong by AEG. We as fans have put our money where our heart is, only to be taken advantage of. We pay more per ticket than any other team in the league. We pay outrageous parking costs. We can’t get a jersey in-stadium of any player other than Beckham. And we take more scrutiny in the press than any other team in the league.

But you know what? We would let it all roll off our backs in exchange for a winning team. And we have tried.

Phillip Anschultz has been a pioneer for American soccer. Players 30-50 years from now need to know that. If he hadn’t stepped up and believed in the American player, this league may have folded long ago. So I understand his need to finally make some of the millions back that he through into the money pit that was MLS. I really do understand. What I don’t understand is why business and success don’t seem to go hand -in-hand.

The hardest part about looking for answers as a Galaxy fan? We don’t even know who to blame… We don’t even really understand what people in the Galaxy/AEG hierarchy do. In normal American sports management the blame usually falls upon the GM. So we should blame Alexi Lalas, right? Not so fast. It has been made clear that many of the player/personnel issues have been taken out of his hands and now rest with Paul Bravo. Making Alexi much more in charge of the business side of things, which one must admit is flourishing, mainly at the expense of the fan. So Bravo is to blame right? Hmmmm… What about Ruud Gullit. The coach is the one who is supposed to lead the players. But Ruud has said that the salary cap is limiting his ability to get the players that he feels can make a difference. That puts the ball back in Alexi’s court to make the financial part of the salary cap work for LA.

So you can see how it seems to be a game of finger pointing. Well, I have my finger pointed to the top. The only constant through the last 5 years of turmoil has been AEG. We have gone through two general managers, not by choice, and four coaches. So in my mind, the buck stops with AEG. It is their job to make their customer happy, and they are not.

We need someone with a different approach, someone who can bridge the gap between team and fan. Someone with a track record of getting his hands dirty and willing his teams to success. If I am Tim Leiweke I have Peter Wilt on the phone asking, “How much money do you need to come fix this?” Not that Peter Wilt is some soccer savior, but ask any Chicago Fire fan and they will tell you he was a manager they respected. Whether it truly is his fault or not, people don’t seem to be respecting Lalas, and you can’t fire your owner. So the answer, to me, is that you have to change the person steering the boat before we hit the iceberg.

This franchise is a shadow of the team we supported for 10 years. The time for change is now. More than that, AEG needs to decide what is more important to them, perceived stability in management or providing a product that is acceptable to their customer. Cuz I got news for them, Beckham looks just a good on TV as he does in person. People go to stadiums to support a quality product.

*photo credit Stephen DuBois

Yes, to those of you that can deduce it from the title, I enjoy the musical My Fair Lady. What of it? A guy can’t leer at Audrey Hepburn for two straight hours anymore? But that’s beside the point. I’ve been away for two weeks due to my nuptuals and subsequent honeymoon. In that time the Galaxy decided to do me dirty on a few different levels.

First of all I take it of some personal offense that they decided to schedule the rematch of last years 5-4 thriller in the Meadowlands versus New York on my wedding day. My girl understands… but she doesn’t understand enough to push our time back on account of the game. Luckily I was able to watch it the following day, and let me say, the Galaxy don’t really deserve that point. Yes, LA created chances, but so did the Red Bulls. Plus Landon’s goal was a bit of a fluke. One thing I did like was the exciting finish in which we got to see the version of Landon Donovan that is willing to fight for his team’s survival. At least I was able to leave for Mexico on the note that maybe my guys could ride the momentum of those last few minutes in New York and carry it through the All-Star break.

Then Alexi decided to personally attack my post-wedding bliss. As I am packing to leave for Mex I remember I need to check and see that I Tivo my games for the week I’m gone. I knew the All Star Game was Thursday, so I set it up. Then I think, “Is there a Galaxy Game this weekend?” Luckily for me my Season Ticket Holder newsletter endorsed by Big Red himself had arrived that day, complete with the listing of the Galaxy’s remaining games. So I flip it open with pride (the kind of pride $1,800 in tickets buys you in LA), and quickly brush past the oh-so humble full front page over sized picture of Mr. Lalas himself and find the calendar. According to this sacred tomb of Galaxy lore, bearing the six inch stamp of Lalas approval, the next game wasn’t till the San Jose away game Aug. 3rd. Sweet!

Imagine my surprise a week later when I sit down to the computer to not only see the pathetic scoreline of FCD 4- LAG 0, but I don’t even understand it. Did the reserves play or something? Big Red wouldn’t lie to me, would he? He looked so warm and welcoming in his dictatorial pose on the cover of my source material. I must have mis-read it. So I looked again, because it is still hermetically sealed and framed in little twinkle lights on my desk right next to a lock of fire-red chin hair I had braided into a key chain. There it was, clear as day, no game scheduled for Sunday versus Dallas.

So Galaxy fans we really can’t be too mad at our boys for Sundays performance… I mean how could they adequately prepare when obviously the front office didn’t know there was a game.

All poorly conceived satire aside. This month has been abysmal for Galaxy fans. Yes, I know they have only lost 2 of the last four games, but they have won none. Combine that with our dangerous early flirtation with offensive supremacy and our subsequent arid run of goals and it is a tough mix for us fans. In the immortal words of The Dude, “This aggression will not stand, man.”

I have to agree with those saying to withhold much of the criticism of Eduardo Dominguez after only one game. Thank God it looks as if Sean Franklin is on the mend and can be back soon. It is a sad testament to LA’s current state when a rookie can put an entire fan base at ease. I really want to see those two get some quality minutes together, before handing any report cards out on Dominguez.

Luckily the doctor has prescribed the perfect remedy for what ails the Galaxy… A trip to San Jose. Surely LA can get a win against the leagues worst team, right? Well they are 2-0 versus the Smurfs so far on the season so conventional wisdom would say yes. However, these are not the same Little Boy Blues that were run off the field last time LA invaded the north. The addition of Arturo Alvarez, Darren Huckerby and Fransisco Lima make this shakier fixture then earlier this season.

Let’s hope someone told the team there is a game this week, and that they NEED to win.

According to SBI, Norwegian powerhouse Rosenborg have made a $1 Million dolalr bid for Galaxy forward Edson Buddle. The 27 year old has been red hot so far this season, scoring 11 goals in 14 appearances. Rosenborg has been actively scouting several American players recently, as they are also currently targeting Brek Shea and Kenny Cooper. It’s unlikely LA will want to part with a red hot Buddle, but we will keep you updated. Do you think a move to Norway would be good for Buddle?